I have probably 100 people in the memory of my cell phone. I probably call three on a regular basis.
I spent most of my teenage (church) life in and out of various churches - mainly because my brother was/is a baptist youth pastor and the average life of a baptist youth pastor at most churches is two years at the very most. Whenever I got comfortable at a church - they would start to have financial troubles or the pastor leaves and brings in new leadership - so I honest;y thought that I was a plague to a church.... Once you spot James Tucker and his gelled hair- that meant your church was going to fall apart within a matter of months....
When Kris decided to go back to seminary (and at the same time I got a car). I went and searched out a church of my own... THis was really really hard. From the time I was 16 till graduating High School - I was involved with five distinct churches in two years. I knew each youth pastor really well and each church wanted to keep a loyal sound/lighting/video guy around....
I am getting off topic here...
Friends..
I just spent 30 minutes searching (via facebook) for people who seemed to stick out in my mind from those old youth days.... I found three... out of sixteen.
You are reading this and saying - James (you jerkface) why are you trying to live in the past?
The truth is - I don't know.... My wife seems to think its that I never went away for school and had that post high school separation. When I graduated - I lived at home and never moved out till Jenn and I got married...
Back to the year 2000 (yes I am talking about high school again) - I probably had a core group of 6 or so folks that I could hang out on a regular basis.
By the time I got married my core 6 turned into 5 - then 4, 3, 2, and 1 - mostly its location change - if its not location change, its lifestyle change (new girlfriend/wife/cooler friends) prevents the whole hanging out thing happen. Its tough. Losing and Making friends. People you want to actually hang out with, outside work, church, or forced social activities.
You know what is the hardest thing to find? Married friends that you actually can/want to hang out with.... I am not bashing anyone here - Jenn and I have come across a pile of cool married folks. It seems whenever the phrase "lets all hang out or go on a double date sometime" is spoken - it becomese a friendship death sentence - you know darn well we are not going to hang out.
Work, kids, time with the wife, time alone will prevent you from hanging out. I do want to hang out with married folks and talk about lame married people stuff like - the weather, cool restraunts, TV, and traffic.
Before anyone points the marriage conference stick at me with the whole - "your wife should be your best friend" routine. - Jenn and I are best friends - she is like #2 on my speed dial (#1 is my voicemail and I can't change that). After almost 4 years of marriage we are still learning how to communicate with each other.
Maybe one day I will host a "cool people who went to church with me pre 2000 reunion" party. I'll start making the guest list right away.
2 comments:
I know the feeling. Well not the married part because I'm lame and single but, the other parts I understand. By the way, dead sexy in that picture. Keep it up.
So what you're saying it that you want to go on a double date with Daniel and I? LOL We know this cool new restaurant and Daniel has a funny story to tell you about traffic... ;p
Bradley since when have you ever show up to anything, any of us has invited you too. I'm not complain, I have a thriving side business making dough with " you think Brads coming? really? how much you wanna bet?"
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